I'm so glad just to hear from you. Don't fret about seeing us until you're ready. We can wait. Knowing that you are with people who are caring for you, and that you aren't in the hands of the enemy gives us all the patience in the world.
I've been Cruciated, too, Gin, remember. Not so badly, or for so long, so don't think I'm comparing my sufferings to yours. But I do understand--right down to the bone--that when you're undergoing that, you want more than anything to make it stop.
What you've undergone has always been my boggart, Ginny: you were in the hands of the enemy, and you had information they wanted that they were determined to have. The only hope you had was in your enemy's mercy, and they had none.
But you've survived that. Surviving the worst thing imaginable is remarkable; it is worthy of respect. Please don't castigate yourself in any way for what happened. None of it was your fault. None of us think it was. Let it all get swallowed up in our joy that you've been able to return to us.
There's one more thing, and I confess it's given me a sleepless night or two. I just want to make sure that you understand why I told you to hate me? I love you Gin, and I always have, and I always will. Allowing you to hate me--urging you to do so--was the only way I could think of to protect you, as far away and as helpless as I was. I thought that hatred could be a shield for you.
Is there anything you need while you are recovering?
If you get to the point that you can see us again, we will have a proper coming of age birthday party for you.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2015-08-27 04:16 pm (UTC)I'm so glad just to hear from you. Don't fret about seeing us until you're ready. We can wait. Knowing that you are with people who are caring for you, and that you aren't in the hands of the enemy gives us all the patience in the world.
I've been Cruciated, too, Gin, remember. Not so badly, or for so long, so don't think I'm comparing my sufferings to yours. But I do understand--right down to the bone--that when you're undergoing that, you want more than anything to make it stop.
What you've undergone has always been my boggart, Ginny: you were in the hands of the enemy, and you had information they wanted that they were determined to have. The only hope you had was in your enemy's mercy, and they had none.
But you've survived that. Surviving the worst thing imaginable is remarkable; it is worthy of respect. Please don't castigate yourself in any way for what happened. None of it was your fault. None of us think it was. Let it all get swallowed up in our joy that you've been able to return to us.
There's one more thing, and I confess it's given me a sleepless night or two. I just want to make sure that you understand why I told you to hate me? I love you Gin, and I always have, and I always will. Allowing you to hate me--urging you to do so--was the only way I could think of to protect you, as far away and as helpless as I was. I thought that hatred could be a shield for you.
Is there anything you need while you are recovering?
If you get to the point that you can see us again, we will have a proper coming of age birthday party for you.
Ginny, we are so glad that you are home.