Private Message to Molly Weasley

[alt_ginny]

 Mum,

 

I think I have messed up in a big way, and I have been trying to figure out how to tell you the things that have been on my mind.

 

When I think about some of the choices I’ve made about my modelling and my relationships, my behaviour seems so shallow now. I guess I was just trying to be the popular view of what perfect is (and succeed at everything), but that doesn’t make me happy. I feel I’ve isolated myself, become an outsider in my own home, and I am truly sorry. I need your help to get things back to the way they should be. I don’t know where to start. I am terribly sorry for the inconveniences that I have placed on the family. I can see the strain in your eyes, Mum, and I don’t want that at all! I just want you to be proud of me. 

 

But I know that if I want you to be proud of me, I can’t let lies get in the way. Mum…I can’t do this anymore!  I have been keeping a secret from you and Dad. This spring, I went behind your back and signed a new, year-long contract with Purest Sparkle. I am terribly sorry I did that without consulting you, and I am working on things to try to make it right. Since coming back to school, I have had a chance to review the things that I have done, and I can now see relationships and priorities that need to be fixed. I really don't want you and dad to be disappointed with me, and the way I feel right now, I think that you aren't happy either.

 

 A fortnight ago, I sat down with Professor Sinistra, and asked her some questions to help me figure things out. I also sat down later and made a list for myself. I guess I need to re-prioritise some things. Like family. I have never forgotten the things that you and dad have taught us even though it seems I have embraced other ideas. And I know I don’t have time for everything. Since talking with Professor Sinistra, I know that a lot of adults don’t balance their lives properly, and I am having a hard time doing that at my age. I also know that I don’t agree with all the things I portray in working with the magazine. Therefore, I have written a letter of resignation to Purest Sparkle, and shall no longer be in their employ after the Christmas season. 

 

I don’t know how you feel about all this, but I do have some guesses. I want to put my family and friends first, and I don’t want to seem out of touch with you all. I think I can be content with the decisions I am now making. I know what is most important, and I will do what I have to do to hold on to that. Is there anything I can do that would help smooth things over? Will you help me get back on track?

 

Ginny

 

(Mum, I also want you to know that a package of socks, hats, scarves, and mittens will follow in the next day or two. Will you send me some more yarn and patterns?)

 

Comments

[alt_molly]

My goodness. Ginny, I hardly know what to say.

Or rather, I do know what to say, except it's about ten different things at once, which is immensely confusing! On the one hand, I'm extremely proud of you for writing to me like this, telling me that you're taking a hard look at some of your choices, and for realising that they're not working. Yes, your father and I have been quite worried about you, and rather upset about the way we've sensed you pulling away. So to read that you're not happy with it, and you'd like to change this is very reassuring. And you're very sensible to realise that you can't do everything! My darling girl, any pressure that you feel to be 'perfect,' as you put it, you put on yourself. Your father and I have never expected that of you, and we never would, I promise.

On the other hand, well, I must confess that when I read your message this morning, I had to put my journal away for a few hours because I couldn't trust myself to write without scorching the pages! I'm referring to the contract, I mean. Ginny, you're a minor! Surely they couldn't accept a legal contract without your father's and my signature, could they?

I want to know how you got around that detail, but I'm almost afraid to ask.

No, I must know: Ginny, did you forge either of our signatures? Because if you did, I'm afraid that it's quite a serious matter. We will have to tell them at the magazine, and they would certainly be within their rights to terminate your position immediately, rather than having you stay through Christmas. And I'm afraid there will be consequences from our end, too. I will need to talk with your father tonight about this when he gets home. I trust you still have a copy of the contract; your father and I will need to see it.

But dear, I'm still glad you wrote. As angry as I was this afternoon, I can see that it was quite a brave thing for you to do. We will work things out.

Mum

[alt_ginny]

Mum, don’t go mad! I suppose… no, I will tell you all. I did not forge your and Dad’s signatures. But since I am being truthful, I must admit that it did cross my mind. Several times actually.

When the possibility of a new contract was presented to me in the spring, I was all for it. I was told that I could work thru December under my current contract, and I was asked if you all would be ok with an extension. I told them yes, that you and Dad would be in complete agreement. I really didn’t think on it much until the start of the summer holiday. It was at that point that I was presented with a new contract for us to sign; a verbal agreement would not be enough. I signed my part and told them that I would get you all to sign it later. I didn’t want to ask you, but at the time it was really important to me that I continue working.

Within the last few weeks, I was asked several times to get in your signed portion as soon as possible. Just before the start of term I was given a deadline of the beginning of October. If I failed to do so I could not work after the end of the year. Honestly Mum, I have had that contract in my bag all summer. I have taken it out several times with the intent of signing it myself and handing it back in. But each time I tried I couldn’t go through with it, and it would make me sick. It’s just something that I cannot bring myself to do. That’s one of the reasons why I talked with Professor Sinistra. I really needed to know when it would be acceptable to give something up.

I could never do something like that. That’s why I sent them the letter of resignation, and because when I really thought about it, that type of attention just didn’t make me happy. I'm really sorry Mum.

[alt_molly]

Oh, Ginny, dear.

I'm so glad you did the right thing and didn't make a mistake like that. But I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't talk to us about a new contract. Yes, your father and I would have been extremely reluctant, for all the reasons you sensed and yes, I think we would have said 'no.'. I think you've put your finger on it. It's just not good for you, dear, what with the time spent. And I must say, it's not really a publication with a philosophy that your father and I want to support.

Of course, if you had lied and signed our names to it, well, I suppose we would have found out anyway: you could hardly flit off to London for photoshoots without us knowing about it!

But I'm very relieved that you didn't try. I think everyone has to come to a place where they have to decide what's important to them. Parents try to guide their children, but a good parent knows that in the end, the child will make his or her own decisions.

Ginny, I know this has been important to you, but I think you can see for yourself why it doesn't make sense for you to continue. You can be proud of yourself that you gave it a good try. I'm sure you've learned some lessons that are good for you to know.

I'll be sending Errol today with some yarn and a new pattern or two.