Private Message to Molly Weasley

[alt_ginny]

 Mum,

 

I think I have messed up in a big way, and I have been trying to figure out how to tell you the things that have been on my mind.

 

When I think about some of the choices I’ve made about my modelling and my relationships, my behaviour seems so shallow now. I guess I was just trying to be the popular view of what perfect is (and succeed at everything), but that doesn’t make me happy. I feel I’ve isolated myself, become an outsider in my own home, and I am truly sorry. I need your help to get things back to the way they should be. I don’t know where to start. I am terribly sorry for the inconveniences that I have placed on the family. I can see the strain in your eyes, Mum, and I don’t want that at all! I just want you to be proud of me. 

 

But I know that if I want you to be proud of me, I can’t let lies get in the way. Mum…I can’t do this anymore!  I have been keeping a secret from you and Dad. This spring, I went behind your back and signed a new, year-long contract with Purest Sparkle. I am terribly sorry I did that without consulting you, and I am working on things to try to make it right. Since coming back to school, I have had a chance to review the things that I have done, and I can now see relationships and priorities that need to be fixed. I really don't want you and dad to be disappointed with me, and the way I feel right now, I think that you aren't happy either.

 

 A fortnight ago, I sat down with Professor Sinistra, and asked her some questions to help me figure things out. I also sat down later and made a list for myself. I guess I need to re-prioritise some things. Like family. I have never forgotten the things that you and dad have taught us even though it seems I have embraced other ideas. And I know I don’t have time for everything. Since talking with Professor Sinistra, I know that a lot of adults don’t balance their lives properly, and I am having a hard time doing that at my age. I also know that I don’t agree with all the things I portray in working with the magazine. Therefore, I have written a letter of resignation to Purest Sparkle, and shall no longer be in their employ after the Christmas season. 

 

I don’t know how you feel about all this, but I do have some guesses. I want to put my family and friends first, and I don’t want to seem out of touch with you all. I think I can be content with the decisions I am now making. I know what is most important, and I will do what I have to do to hold on to that. Is there anything I can do that would help smooth things over? Will you help me get back on track?

 

Ginny

 

(Mum, I also want you to know that a package of socks, hats, scarves, and mittens will follow in the next day or two. Will you send me some more yarn and patterns?)

 

Comments

[alt_ginny]

Mum, don’t go mad! I suppose… no, I will tell you all. I did not forge your and Dad’s signatures. But since I am being truthful, I must admit that it did cross my mind. Several times actually.

When the possibility of a new contract was presented to me in the spring, I was all for it. I was told that I could work thru December under my current contract, and I was asked if you all would be ok with an extension. I told them yes, that you and Dad would be in complete agreement. I really didn’t think on it much until the start of the summer holiday. It was at that point that I was presented with a new contract for us to sign; a verbal agreement would not be enough. I signed my part and told them that I would get you all to sign it later. I didn’t want to ask you, but at the time it was really important to me that I continue working.

Within the last few weeks, I was asked several times to get in your signed portion as soon as possible. Just before the start of term I was given a deadline of the beginning of October. If I failed to do so I could not work after the end of the year. Honestly Mum, I have had that contract in my bag all summer. I have taken it out several times with the intent of signing it myself and handing it back in. But each time I tried I couldn’t go through with it, and it would make me sick. It’s just something that I cannot bring myself to do. That’s one of the reasons why I talked with Professor Sinistra. I really needed to know when it would be acceptable to give something up.

I could never do something like that. That’s why I sent them the letter of resignation, and because when I really thought about it, that type of attention just didn’t make me happy. I'm really sorry Mum.

[alt_molly]

Oh, Ginny, dear.

I'm so glad you did the right thing and didn't make a mistake like that. But I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't talk to us about a new contract. Yes, your father and I would have been extremely reluctant, for all the reasons you sensed and yes, I think we would have said 'no.'. I think you've put your finger on it. It's just not good for you, dear, what with the time spent. And I must say, it's not really a publication with a philosophy that your father and I want to support.

Of course, if you had lied and signed our names to it, well, I suppose we would have found out anyway: you could hardly flit off to London for photoshoots without us knowing about it!

But I'm very relieved that you didn't try. I think everyone has to come to a place where they have to decide what's important to them. Parents try to guide their children, but a good parent knows that in the end, the child will make his or her own decisions.

Ginny, I know this has been important to you, but I think you can see for yourself why it doesn't make sense for you to continue. You can be proud of yourself that you gave it a good try. I'm sure you've learned some lessons that are good for you to know.

I'll be sending Errol today with some yarn and a new pattern or two.